While most, if not all men, have at least heard of the term “premature ejaculation”, very few actually know what this condition actually is and whether they are affected by it or not.
Like with any other problem, health related or not, the more you know about it, the easier and more effectively you will be able to deal with it.
So, whether you are suffering from a genuine case of premature ejaculation or you are just trying to find out how to last longer in bed, you need to first understand the nature of your problem, before you go about solving it.
The following section will provide you with all the information that you need to have about premature ejaculation and ways that will help you increase your stamina in bed, in order to help you decide the proper course of action for your case and to help you find out whether you are indeed having a PE problem, or not. So, let’s get started with the basics:
What is premature ejaculation?
A man is generally described as a premature ejaculator if he consistently reaches his climax, in other words if he ejaculates, before his partner does, or before either he or his partner can call their encounter “satisfying”.
In other words, premature ejaculation occurs when a man is frequently cumming before he or his partner would like to, which means that cumming too soon ONCE, does not make you a premature ejaculator. That however, raises an important question, namely:
How soon is too soon?
This is where things get a bit tricky… You see, as you can probably tell, the answer to this question depends on the partner and the expectations that the man has about his performance.
A lot of men choose to compare their sexual performance with that of porn stars and movie stars in general, and they seem to be oblivious to the fact that the incredible sexual stamina that they think that their “role models” possess, is usually the result of medication, like Viagra, or of clever use of special effects and editing. Thus, when they see that they can’t last as long as their “sexual heroes” are able to, they think that they must be premature ejaculators and that as a result, they are not sexually satisfying their partners!
On the other hand, there are people who cum just a few seconds after they enter a woman’s vagina, or, even worse, BEFORE they actually enter it! Now, those people are clearly having a PE problem that requires special attention.
As you can probably tell, in these extreme cases it is easy to tell whether a man is a premature ejaculator or not, what happens if a guy is somewhere in the middle? In other words, is there a more precise, quantitative definition or premature ejaculation available? Well, the answer is: yes!
Define premature ejaculation
Researchers have tried to come up with a “yardstick”, so to speak, concerning male sexual performance and they have pretty much all of them agreed that men between 18 and 30 years of age, the ages most commonly affected by PE problems (genuine or not), should be able to last around six minutes after vaginal penetration.
In other words, if you find that you consistently ejaculate less than six minutes after vaginal penetration, then you have a PE problem. If it takes you about that long to ejaculate, or more, then you just need to find ways to improve your sexual stamina and increase your staying power in bed.
Premature ejaculation symptoms
Before we talk about the symptoms of PE, let’s define the word symptom: A symptom is something that a patient senses and describes to a doctor or someone else. It is NOT something that other people can notice just by looking at a patient, that would be what is known as a sign. So, with that in mind, it is safe to say that Premature Ejaculation has one defining symptom: the lack of control over the time of a man’s ejaculation. In other words, a man not being able to control when he will ejaculate.
Now that we have defined premature ejaculation, let’s have a look at its nature and causes. Before we do that however, let’s see how the ejaculatory system works:
How does ejaculation occur?
Ejaculation is a process controlled by the central nervous system and it’s caused by friction on the genitalia and sexual stimulation in general, which produce impulses that are in turn sent up the spinal cord and into the brain, who essentially commands the body to ejaculate.
Premature Ejaculation causes
Believe it or not, Premature ejaculation is usually caused by psychological factors! These may include the setting of ridiculously high and unrealistic standards, as far as sexual performance is concerned, like the ones mentioned earlier in this section! Other psychological factors that may cause PE are stress over everyday subjects such as work and money, performance anxiety and depression. In these cases, doctors usually prescribe antidepressants, but more on that later.
Premature ejaculation can also be caused by a variety of medical conditions that range from non serious, such as easy to treat prostate infections, to extremely serious, such as some forms of cancer, including prostate cancer. This is why you should absolutely visit a doctor if you think that you are having a genuine PE problem. Better safe than sorry!
Are there different types of premature ejaculation?
The answer to that question is a very definite “YES”! There is PE that is caused by psychological factors and PE that is caused by medical problems and conditions. Each PE case, must be treated according to its cause. For example, some PE problems caused by medical can be solved by antibiotics, while those that are psychological in nature, can be treated with antidepressants or changes in the patient’s lifestyle.
Premature ejaculation: diagnostic issues
As you can probably, before one starts treating his PE problem, he needs to define its cause. The safest way to do that, is to visit a doctor. He will run you through a series of tests and exams and he will determine whether there is something that is physically causing your PE issues. If the results are negative, then the causes of your PE are psychological in nature.
Do I need a doctor for premature ejaculation?
A visit to your doctor will help you determine whether or not you have a PE issue and what’s causing it, in case that you do. It is by far the safest and best way to diagnose PE, however, if one can afford a doctor or doesn’t have the time to consult one, he can always use one of the PE diagnostic tools that can be easily found online.
Premature Ejaculation diagnostic tool
A PE diagnostic tool, despite its fancy name, is just a questionnaire developed by experts, that will help you find out whether you are having a PE problem or not and it will also provide you with its most probable cause.
Now, let’s answer a couple of very basic questions about PE, that I am pretty sure are on the back of the minds of pretty much all men:
How common is Premature Ejaculation?
Premature ejaculation is by far the most common problem that men face in bed! How common is it? Well, it’s kind of hard to say, since a lot of men afflicted are not willing to talk about it, because they feel too embarrassed. However, recent studies have shown that more than half of the male population is facing a Pe problem or has faced one in the past!
Some researchers have even claimed that as much as 3/4 of men have been afflicted by this problem at some point in their lives! What you need to get out of this, is the fact that YOU ARE NOT ALONE! You are definitely not the only one having this problem.
How to talk to your partner about premature ejaculation?
The main problem with Premature ejaculation, is the fact that it’s a condition that affects both you and your partner, as well as your sexual relationship in general. When PE occurs, the intimacy that you share with your partner suddenly comes to a very abrupt end.
This may make you feel angry, ashamed, and frustrated, and turn you away from your partner, or even sex in general. As you can probably, this will definitely affect your partner and your relationship.
Communication between partners is essential for the successful diagnosis and treatment of PE, and it can also help one partner understand how the other one feels. Sometimes couple counseling or sex therapy may be a very effective PE treatment.
Together a couple might develop techniques (like the squeeze technique for example) that may help delay ejaculation and increase the staying power and stamina of the man. Most importantly, the couple should try to relax. Anxiety (especially performance anxiety) is one of the most common and “sneaky” causes of premature ejaculation.