The Essential Guide on How to Last Longer in Bed
When it comes to love and romance, the first thing that every man out there would like to know is how to last longer in bed. Why does this happen though? Well, after a lot of research, I came to the conclusion that this is mainly due to misconceptions and lies that we’ve been fed for years through the media.
We have been more or less conditioned to equate sexual stamina with manhood and masculinity. This means that we all think that if we don’t last long during sex, we’re not masculine enough or there’s something with us. Well, this is all BS and the only thing it does is actually make us cum even faster!
Want to know the number one reason why men experience premature ejaculation (PE for short)? It’s not some medical condition or lack of nutrients or anything like that. It’s just good old fashioned stress. To put it simply, the more you worry about lasting longer, the more you will experience PE.
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Lets go further first we need to talk about what causes PE in the first place. After all, if you want the best solution to a problem, you first need to find out what’s causing it!
Lies and Misconceptions
This brings us back to what I said earlier about lies and the media. Most men, myself included, learn about sex through porn and magazines like Penthouse and Playboy. THIS IS A HUGE MISTAKE!
Those outlets promote an entirely unrealistic image about sex and masculinity. When it comes to sex, they make it seem like the average man can last in bed for more than an hour, when in fact anything over two minutes is not considered PE.
Porn stars only last that long because porn movies aren’t filmed in real time. They are not filmed in one long take, but rather in smaller ones that have been carefully stitched together to create the illusion of a long, uninterrupted shoot. So porn is more like the movie Birdman than Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Rope” when it comes to filming and editing.
What does this have to do with lasting longer in bed? EVERYTHING! Like I said earlier, the main reason why we can’t have a long ejaculation is anxiety and more specifically, performance anxiety. We worry so much about how long we last, that we end up sabotaging ourselves. The cause of those worries, is none other than the unrealistic standards that we have about sex.
I used to think that if that guy in that movie can last for one hour straight without cumming, then I can too. Never once did it cross my mind that this man’s increased lasting power was the result of “movie magic”. Never once did I think that all those stories I read about in Playboy were just exaggerations and essentially tall tales that were meant to make some guys seem more macho.
What you need to get out of this, is that A): The average length of sex is not one hour or anything close to that and B): THERE IS NO “THRESHOLD” THAT YOU NEED TO EXCEED IN ORDER TO BECOME A GOOD LOVER!
This of course doesn’t mean that there aren’t some things that you can do in order to better control ejaculation and increase your stamina in bed. I wouldn’t have written this guide if that was the case. Before we begin though, there are a few things that you will need to understand.
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Now that we’ve cleared the air a bit, let’s get down to the brass tax. Let’s begin my proven guide to prevent premature ejaculation.
- There is no such thing as a cure for PE. Premature ejaculation is not a sickness or a disease and as such, there is no surefire cure for it. I know it may seem shocking to some, but it’s the truth. It can however be controlled and treated.
- What works for one man, may not work for another one. PE is caused by anxiety and anxiety manifests itself differently in every man. So, just because one PE treatment works for me, doesn’t mean that it will work for you too. This is why I will present many solutions and tips, so that you can find the best one for you!
- There is no “magical solution” to PE. All those drugs and chemicals that claim to INSTANTLY make a man last longer in bed provide only temporary solutions. They do nothing to address the root of the problem and they can get you “addicted” to them. By that I mean that you won’t be able to have sex without them. The techniques to last longer that you will find here, are safer and they will help you to deal with PE once and for all.
Step One: Change The Way You Think About Sex!
If you want to learn how to last longer in bed, you first need to gain a new perspective on sex and what it is about.
Sex is not about quantity, it is about quality. It is not about how much time you spend in the sack, but rather what you do with that time. In the end of the day, sex is all about having fun with your partner.
So, the first step towards in your journey of learning how to delay ejaculation during intercourse, is to learn to focus on what you do during sex, rather than on how long you can make it last.
Believe it or not, long sex does not equal good sex. If you are not having fun and you and your partner are not both getting orgasms, then you are not having good sex. So, being to ejaculate longer, won’t transform you into an amazing lover.
Stop worrying about how long you last and start thinking about how you and your partner can have the most fun and pleasure. THAT should be your main and only focus! Work on her long before you initiate penetration.
Want to know a secret? The closer you get a woman to an orgasm before you enter her, the less you will have to worry about how long you can stay inside her.The first thing you want to know is where is the clitoris.If you get her close to an orgasm before you enter her or even if you get her to climax before you enter her, then the duration of penetration will not be an issue.
So, what you need to get out of this section, is that when you are having sex, you need to focus on your partner and the pleasure that you both are getting from it. Don’t think about time AT ALL. Quantity, does NOT equal quality, despite of what porn movies and magazines may have taught us.
Step Two: What to Do Before Sex to Fix Premature Ejaculation
I may have said that there is no cure for PE, but I did say that there are some things that you can do in order to control and treat it. So, let’s have a look at some things that can increase sexual stamina for men naturally. Believe it or not, food has a lot do with sex and sexual stamina. What you eat can help a lot with lasting longer. So, let’s have a look at the foods that will you maximize your performance in the sack.
7 Foods You Can Eat That Will Allow You To Have Sex Longer!
Remember when I said that premature ejaculation is mainly caused by anxiety? Well, Turkey is rich in Tryptophan, which produces Serotonin, a hormone that quells anxiety. This means that a good turkey meal can help a male last longer in bed.
Chamomile contains compounds that make us feel all warm and fuzzy inside. This warmness helps fight anxiety and this means that it can help with controlling premature ejaculation.
Avocados are a great food for lasting longer for two reasons. The first is that it is rich in vitamin B which is a great stress reliever. The second, is that it is a great source of mono unsaturated fat, which aids blood flow to the body and the penis, thus providing harder erections and longer ejaculations.
Dark chocolate is one of the best Serotonin boosters around. This means that it makes people feel good and less stressed, almost instantaneously. It is one of the best ejaculation delayers for men naturally.
Fish, and salmon in particular, is rich in arginine which helps the body produce Nitric acid. This acid expands blood vessels in the genitalia and provides long and hard erections. Fist are also great for treating erectile dysfunction.
Red wine will release dopamine in your brain which will help increase your desire and libido. It will help you focus on sex and the pleasure it causes, rather than how long it lasts. As I said earlier, this is essential in order to delay ejaculation during intercourse.
Strawberries are a great source of Zinc, which makes them ideal for maintaining healthy testosterone levels. Eating a handful of strawberries before sex, can help you get a long ejaculation.
Step Three: Train Yourself to Last Longer in Bed
While I think that by now it should be clear that premature ejaculation is all about anxiety, sometimes it can be connected to physical issues and poor conditioning. There are some tricks that you can try when you are not having sex, that will help you greatly to ejaculate longer during actual sex.
How to last longer in bed for men with Kegels exercises.
You may have heard of Kegels exercises, since they are pretty famous. Women all over the world do them in order to exercise their pelvic muscles and have easier childbirth and bladder control during pregnancy. Well, the Kegels workout isn’t only for women.
It is one of the best ways to increase sexual stamina for men naturally. The Kegels exercises are really simple, they can be done ANYWHERE and they are specially designed to prolong ejaculation. They do this by making the muscles controlling ejaculation stronger, thus easier to control. Better muscle control equals delayed ejaculations.
So, how do you do the famous Kegels workout? It’s actually extremely simple.
Step one: Sit down. Yep, you don’t even have to be standing for this one.
Step two: Relax and pretend that you have to hold your pee. In other words, clench the muscles that you clench when you feel like going to the bathroom, but you don’t want to.
Step three: Keep the muscle clenched for three to five seconds and release. Relax for a few seconds and repeat.
It’s that simple and as you can tell, you can even do it during your break from work. Just do three sets of ten reps per day (make sure that the sets are somewhat far apart) and you will soon see results.
The next time you have sex and you feel like cumming, try to clench those muscles as if trying to hold your pee. Since both functions are controlled by the same muscles, you will be able to stop your ejaculation, delay it, or even push it back! Just remember that the results of this workout take some time to manifest themselves. It’s an effective solution, not a magical one.
Step Four: Masturbation is Key to Lasting Longer During Sex
I know that masturbation has been vilified over the years, but the truth is it can a help a lot with premature ejaculation problems. But bow exactly? Well, let’s find out!
Masturbate before sex for better control over your ejaculation.
Believe it or not, spanking the monkey before sex can help you last longer in bed. This is because one of the reasons that we ejaculate prematurely, is the fact that we simply can’t control ourselves. We just can’t get to our climax and the pleasure it provides fast enough, especially if we haven’t had any sex for some time.
By masturbating before sex you essentially give yourself the gratification it seeks from the climax. This means that your body won’t subconsciously make you cum faster during sex. It will already have experienced the pleasure of the climax.
Furthermore, I found out that by masturbating regularly during long “dry spells”, I could make myself last longer in bed when I actually got to have sex. This is because my body wasn’t “starved” for the excitement caused by the climax.
So, to conclude, masturbating before sex will help you control your ejaculation and stay more focused on your goal which is to make sure that both you and your partner have fun.
Masturbation can help you change your perspective on sex
Believe it or not, regular and controlled masturbation can help you learn how to last longer in bed. Once you think about it, masturbation is nothing but a simulation of sex. It’s as close as you can get to the real thing, without a partner.
How you act during this simulation, can and will affect your behavior once you get to experience the real thing. Most of us, myself included, try to keep our “masturbation sessions” as short and quick as possible. This is a remnant of our teenage years, when we had to get done quickly in order to not get caught and it can adversely affect our sex lives.
You see, once the sparks start flying, our mind and bodies have a pretty hard time telling if what is happening is with or sans partner. If you cum quickly when you masturbate, then you will probably cum quickly during sex.
The solution to this problem is not to stop masturbating. You can increase stamina in bed by simply masturbating regularly and taking your time to reach the climax. This way you will essentially teach your mind and body to always take it slow during sex, regardless of whether it is with a lady or your hand and a picture of Scarlett Johansson in her Black Widow outfit!
Practice lasting longer in bed with “edging”
Edging is one of the best techniques to last longer.It essentially is all about understanding when you are about to reach your climax and then managing your ejaculation. Let’s talk about this in a little more detail.
The point of no return (PNR)
Our sexual arousal is incremental. We don’t go from flaccid straight to “about to cum”. We get more and more aroused as time passes and things start to get “sexier”. The maximum level of the male arousal is known as the point of no return, because once we get there, ejaculation is all but inevitable.
Knowing where your point of no return is, is essential to having a longer ejaculation.
How to find your Point of No return.
Once again, masturbation is the key. The next time you masturbate, try to pay attention to how you feel as you get harder and harder with each stroke. Then try to remember how you feel the moments before your ejaculate. This is your PNR.
It goes without saying that finding your PNR will take more than one masturbation sessions. Once you find it, you can begin practicing Edging.
Edging is all about getting as close as possible to the PNR, without going over it. Once you feel like you are about to cum, slow things down. You can just stop whatever it is you are doing or start clenching the muscles you made stronger with your Kegels workout.
Once you feel like you have cooled a down a bit and your arousal levels have stopped, you can start over again. The better you get at edging, the more times you will be able to repeat the whole process before you finally let go.
Edging is one of the best ways to get more staying power for men naturally. It will also help you have more fulfilling and overall better sex. In short, it will benefit both you and your partner!
Step Five: Tricks in Bed That Can Help You Last Longer
We may have talked about how to prepare and condition yourself to delay ejaculation during intercourse, but now it’s time to have a look at some tips about the act itself. The following in bed exercises are great solutions for instant stamina boosts. Some actually involve your partner, which means that can spice up things in bed, quite a bit.
1.Communication: It all starts and ends with communication. If you feel like your partner is arousing you too much or too fast, let her know. Tell her that what she’s doing is really hot, but you won’t be able to keep up much longer. Don’t be afraid to ask her to slow down, it’s for your mutual benefit, after all.
2.Distract yourself: This is one of those things that don’t work for some men, but work for others. If you feel like you are getting too aroused, try to think about something other than sex and what is happening at the moment. Try to think of something boring like sports stats or multiplication tables and your arousal will go down a bit, allowing you to last longer. It may not work for you, but you won’t lose anything by trying!
3.The pinch technique: This is for any ladies reading this article. If you want to get your man to last longer in bed, then pinch the head of his penis when you feel like or he “announces” that he is about to cum. This will instantly decrease his arousal and buy you more time in the sack.
4.Apply pressure to the perineum: This is another one for the ladies. Put pressure on the area between the anus and the prostate to get your boyfriend to last longer in bed.
5.Try different sexual positions: Monotony can lead to premature ejaculation. Try to keep things fresh and try new positions or other things to make sex a bit more exciting. When you try something for the first time or the first few times, you will throw your body and mind off and you will have sex longer with your partner.
While we are one the subject of positions, one of the most fail proof in bed exercises that make sex last longer, is to have sex with your lady on top. This gives her full control of the penetration, which can help a lot as far as duration is concerned.
6. Shallow thrusting: If you thrust long and hard during sex, you could be sabotaging your sexual stamina. Keep things slow and your thrusts shallow at first and then make them gradually deeper. This will make sex better and longer.
7.Last but not least: The stop and go technique! This is by far one of the most famous and effective techniques for men who want to learn how to last longer in bed. It is something like edging, only not quite as “extreme”.
Once you feel like you are getting too aroused during intercourse, take a breather. Stop what you are doing and wait until you cool off. Now repeat the process as many times as possible.
What makes this technique different than Edging, is the fact that you don’t have to wait to the last possible moment to cool off. You just stop as soon as you feel like you have been aroused a bit too much. It might seem a bit frustrating at first, but once you get the hang of it, it will work like magic.
It goes without saying that you can practice this technique while masturbating. It is however to practice with an actual partner. Just let your woman know what you are doing and why.
As you can see, Premature ejaculation is not something that will end your sex life. Not unless you want it to. Any man out there can learn how to last longer in bed. All it takes, is some determination and the willingness to see things a bit differently.
I know that after all the conditioning we’ve been through and the false standards that we’ve been presented with, lasting longer in sex can seem difficult. Trust me though, it’s all in your head! If I could work it out, then so can you, this is why my guide contains so many different tips. You will definitely find the best for you.
Just hang in there and don’t give up. Trust me, it will be worth it in the end for both you and your partner.